Trying to find a quality partner with the same wants is an incredibly challenging feat in today’s bizarre dating era.
One frustrated singleton took to the buzzy r/GirlDinnerDiaries forum on Reddit to complain about how difficult it is to find quality men who want to live a child-free life as she does.
In her post, she wrote, “I’m 30 and have been trying to find ‘my human’ to no avail. A pattern I keep running into is these guys that have really done the work to improve themselves, are well-rounded and lovable, and have the same hobbies as me… want kids. And I don’t — my tubes are tied.”
“I have landed in a space where I’m very happy with my life. I’m a pro-level athlete in my spare time, a PE’d engineer making six figures, I’m buying a house soon, I’ve spent the last few years working on my wardrobe to be cuter/less tomboy, and have fostered a beautiful community of close friends,” she continued.
“… there’s a direct correlation to me really liking a man and his positive preference for children. The men that don’t want kids seem to have stagnated in their mid-20’s. They don’t have a solid career, or an outdoor hobby we can share, or haven’t gone to therapy.”
“Where the frig are the men that have put in the same effort into making their lives successful that *don’t* want kids??” she asked.
Her quest for a good guy sparked a massive discussion, bringing in over 2,000 comments, mostly from women, who either had the same complaint as the original poster or offered hopeful advice.
“What is in your favor is the fact that since you don’t want kids, there’s no hurry to find the right guy for you! You have time to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince,” one kindly pointed out.
“I think the men that are super well adjusted and successful and have a secure attachment style
— all the nice things, USUALLY had a better family upbringing and hence they are more likely to want to replicate that for themselves and the next generation,” a valid point one raised.
“Sorry this journey has been a long one for you. I’m sure you’ll find your match. Not all good men want kids! I’m sure your soulmate is out there. Just keep getting out there and keep those standards high!” another chimed in.
“You just have to be careful because some of them will see you don’t want kids and just go with it on the covert assumption you’ll eventually change your mind,” someone else wrote.
The OP is clearly not alone in her way of thinking.
Researchers from Michigan State University discovered that the number of U.S. adults choosing to live a childless life has doubled over the last two decades.
“These new results confirm this is part of a nationwide trend that has been unfolding for over 20 years,” said Zachary Neal, MSU professor of psychology and co-author of the study.
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