Parents are being served up some serious etiquette lessons.
A server says many in the industry dislike when mindless moms and dads dine at restaurants with their unruly kids in tow.
But while other patrons may direct their ire at the offspring, many professionals say parents are the ones who should shoulder the blame if their children misbehave.
“Servers don’t want to shame families or discourage them from going out to eat,” Alana Fineman, a comedian and server who posts restaurant skits on TikTok, told TODAY.com. “Parents are usually…trying their best.”
However, Fineman, who hails from Southern California, says there are some mistakes moms and dads do make in restaurants.
“The phrase, ‘The customer is always right’ is dying out,” the server dished.
Below, the errors that reveal more about the parents than they do about their children.
Leave a mess
Part of being a kid is making a mess, but when parents leave it to the bussers to clean up, that’s when it becomes a problem.
“It’s one thing when a baby throws food from his high chair — it’s another when kids rip open sugar packets and dump them on the floor or finger-paint with ketchup on the walls,” Fineman said. “That usually means that a parent is not paying attention or allowing it to happen.”
If a kid throws up or there’s food all over the walls and floors, it’s the busser that cleans it up.
Allow children to run around
Most restaurants don’t have the space for children to be running around wildly, which could lead to destruction.
If a child runs into a server, broken glass can end up on the floor, food can fall and there’s the potential of delayed orders and injuries.
“If you’re carrying a tray of five martinis or plates of boiling-hot food and a child runs in front of you, you can drop it on the floor or onto a person,” Fineman said
“Kids shouldn’t run through a restaurant — it’s not a McDonald’s PlayPlace,” she declared.
During an incident at her restaurant, there were kids that “climbed over a fence and onto the street, where they threw rocks onto the dining patio.” While no one got injured, an employee at the restaurant “did the parenting” and lectured the children.
Make servers part of a “teachable moment”
When kids get to a certain age, they’re able to express themselves and order their own food.
Oftentimes, the parents will say to their child, “Tell the lady what you want.” And while Fineman mostly finds this kind of conversation “funny and endearing,” it can sometimes be an issue if the child won’t speak for themselves — and the parent persists.
“Every so often, a parent says, ‘We’re not moving on until you learn to order,’” Fineman explained. “I can’t always be a part of it when I’m really busy.”
Demand changes for picky eaters
Typically, picky eaters aren’t a problem for servers at restaurants — unless the parent has big expectations, Fineman said.
She claimed that some parents will get “irate” if the restaurant’s menu is restrictive or if the chef can’t make a very specific meal.
“If it’s a slow day, they might be able to…but not every time,” says Fineman. “There needs to be a contingency plan for what your child can eat.”
Forget to include kids in reservations
There’s apparently a “fascinating phenomenon” where parents don’t include their children in a reservation, not realizing that they, too, count as guests — even if they’ll be using a high chair, taking up the same space as a regular chair.
Fineman guessed that perhaps some parents do this to not have to pay automatic gratuity for larger parties, but she believes that most simply don’t realize.
This could lead to a problem on busy days when the family will ultimately end up waiting longer for a table that can accommodate them.
“There can be an unfortunate domino effect in the restaurant industry,” Fineman said. “Miscalculating three people can affect the next 45 minutes.”
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