It’s pretty standard to leave a cash tip for bartenders at weddings — especially if it’s an open bar.
However, a young bartender named Hannah Borsenik revealed in a TikTok video — captioned “This labor isn’t, free people” — that she supposedly was “not allowed” by a couple to put out a tip jar at their wedding that she was working.
This video said so much — yet so little at the same time, but enough to spark a fierce debate on tipping at weddings in the comment section.
“I wouldn’t want my guests to feel obligated to spend any money at my wedding either… that’s tacky,” one commenter fired.
Another comment brought up a good point: “The couple should be tipping you not the guests.”
“Gratuity was included in the contract. Don’t lie. Asking guests to tip is tacky,” judged someone else.
Borsenik felt compelled to post a follow-up video in response to the thousands of opinionated comments she received on her original video.
“I get an hourly wage from the venue. The bride and groom are not hiring me to be a private bartender at their wedding, so that’s why I usually have a tip jar… I don’t get gratuity in my hourly wage,” she explained.
“…I’m not signing a contract. I just work for the venue and the bride and groom just said I couldn’t have a tip jar.”
Of course, commenters had something to say about Borsenik’s explanation, too.
“The person paying for the event should tip you at the end of the night. I would be horrified if you asked my guests for tips,” quipped one person.
Another person defended the young bartender: “I’m sorry even if you got paid via the bride and groom, I do not care. Make that money. If people want to tip they will and if people don’t want to, they won’t.”
Some Gen Z couples are avoiding this scenario altogether by throwing dry weddings and cash bars, defending the move as far from tacky and calling guests who complain “entitled.”
Rather than free-flowing booze, these couples prioritize transparency and budget-conscious celebrations, sparking heated arguments online about what it really means to be a gracious host.
In a culture where wedding norms are evolving, debates over who should tip — or if tip jars even belong — are only getting louder.
But one thing’s clear: when it comes to weddings, money and manners remain a delicate dance.
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