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Medieval tapestry featuring countless penises hides a sex scandal that could rewrite European history

News RoomBy News RoomSeptember 2, 2026No Comments3 Mins Read
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Medieval tapestry featuring countless penises hides a sex scandal that could rewrite European history
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It was a sex scandal for the ages.

An X-rated artwork depicting a momentous event in England’s past could rewrite our understanding of UK history — thanks to the portrayal of an alleged sordid royal affair.

The Bayeux Tapestry, which recently returned to the UK from Normandy, France for the first time since its creation nearly 1,000 years ago, depicts 58 events leading up to the Battle of Hastings and Norman Conquest of England in 1066.

These pivotal moments reshaped the country’s ruling class, transformed the national language from English to French and bound the two countries closer together.

The masterwork also known for harboring a preponderance of phalluses — 93 or 94, depending on who you ask — which experts surmise could represent everything from sophomoric graffiti to subversive commentary targeting figures in the work.

However, this is far from the most scandalous image seen in this medieval magnum opus. Within the tapestry-cum-tabloid’s threads lies a vignette that could’ve potentially threatened the validity of the new English King, Norman leader William the Conqueror.

“It undermines the legitimacy of the Norman Conquest,” said British Museum curator Michael Lewis while discussing this alleged Medieval hit piece on the HistoryExtra podcast.

The depiction in question shows a clergyman caressing the cheek of a noblewoman named Aelfgyva while a naked man looks on from below a decorative border.

Lewis believed that the woman in question was Emma of Normandy, wife of English King Aethelred the Unready and mother to Edward the Confessor, the Daily Mail reported.

Emma — — who adopted the English name Aelfgyva during her marriage — was also notably the great-aunt of William the Conqueror.

When Edward the Confessor passed on without an heir, William use this family connection to stake his claim to the English throne, paving the way for his conquest.

However, rumors swirled that Emma cheated on King Athelred with a prominent religious figure, and Lewis believes that the tapestry scene alluded to this alleged affair as a way to question William’s legitimacy as King.

“The claim against Emma is that she was having an affair with Alfwin, who was the Bishop of Winchester,” said Lewis. “That [naked] figure at the bottom, and the sexual scandal… then it kind of switches it completely against her.”

If Lewis is correct, the alleged smear against Emma could’ve undermined the family connection William used to bolster his claim to the English throne.

Of course, the identity of the woman in the tapestry remains a mystery, and is not helped by the fact that Ælfgyva was a ubiquitous name in 11th-century England.

Historians have also theorized that she could’ve been Ælfgifu of York, first wife of King Aethelred, or Ælfgifu of Northampton, wife of King Cnut — the English/Danish king whom Emma herself married following Aethelred’s death.

Read the full article here

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