Maybe you don’t have a friend in them.
A content creator has revealed the warning signs of a narcissistic friend, claiming it is just as “toxic” as dating a narcissist.
TikTokker @beyondthebruise, who uses her experience with domestic violence to educate her followers online, claimed that narcissists are “a lot harder to spot” in platonic relationships than they are in romantic ones.
“A friend who’s a narcissist doesn’t just drain you, they use you,” she explained in a viral video that scored 967,000 views. “They make everything about them while giving you the absolute bare minimum in return.”
They often “love the spotlight,” dominating conversations and interrupting people to bring focus to themselves.
When keeping a narcissist in your orbit, everything will feel “like a competition.”
“They can’t just be happy for you, they have to one up you,” she said. “If you get a promotion, they’ve already done better. If you had a rough day, they had a worse day”
She added: “In their mind, every moment is a chance to prove that they’re superior.”
A narcissistic friend will also often “disappear when you need them most,” she continued.
“They love being around you when you’re fun, when you’re successful, when you’re useful, but when you need actual support, they ghost, dismiss, act like you’re a burden,” she said.
If they do offer “support,” it’s often “backhanded,” meaning compliments “will feel like insults in disguise.”
Lastly, being friends with a narcissist will often leave you feeling “drained, not energized, after spending time with them.”
“A good friendship leaves you feeling seen, supported, valued, but a narcissistic friendship leaves you exhausted because you’re constantly walking on eggshells or trying to prove your worth,” she said.
“If you constantly feel used, dismissed, drained, that’s not a friend.”
In the comments, viewers shared their own experiences with a narcissistic friend.
“They constantly use you for emotional support, but in return you hear, ‘yeah, oh wow, darn, that sucks,’” wrote one person.
“When they know they did you dirty instead of taking accountability they ghost you, pretend like nothing happened or just make it seem like you are overreacting,” another chimed in.
“They love to gossip, can’t stand any criticism, don’t apologize, if you don’t agree you are against them, you walk on eggshells all the time, they drain your energy and make you paranoid,” someone else commented.
The abundance of narcissists in the world is enough to make some TikTokkers swear off platonic relationships altogether.
“I’m SO done befriending people,” lamented one user. “I wanna be left alone forever.”
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