Influencer Lizzie Kieffer shared an emotional family video filmed just prior to the death of 12-month-old daughter, Lily.
The physical therapist took to Instagram on Monday, October 14, to post a clip she kept in her “drafts since the Friday before everything,” which captured her morning ritual while 18 weeks’ pregnant with her third child, Isla, whom she gave birth to last month.
“Such a normal day, everyone was happy and healthy,” Kieffer captioned the video. “I think about this post often, how I want to go back to this simple day. But also so happy Isla is here and part of our everyday now.”
Kieffer shared via Instagram on April 26 that Lily had died, noting at the time that she and husband, Matt, had discovered the child had a “large mass on her brain.”
The new Instagram video showed Kieffer working out on her own before the couple’s eldest child, Mia, born in June 2022, and Lily joined her. The footage captured Kieffer feeding Lily on a sofa before she held the child up to the camera for a close-up.
Kieffer’s caption continued, “Days like this aren’t promised. They aren’t a given. I’m grateful for this life He has given me. I’m so grateful for the gift of Lily. The gift of Matt, Mia, Isla, my ability to move my body and be healthy.”
She then reflected on how she continues to process her ongoing grief. “Yes, I want to go back to this day so badly, moving through my day with Lily on my hip. And I always will feel that way, wishing she was here in person for every milestone, every big event, every mundane day,” Kieffer wrote. “I ask God why, all the time. But nothing I do can change it. And for that reason I HAVE to choose gratitude, I HAVE to find the joy, I HAVE to welder up strength to continue. Not every day is like this, most definitely. But each day I wake up with a “thank you Jesus”, my heart mends sliver by sliver. It’s a far from perfect thank you – but I try everyday.”
Kieffer also noted that Tuesday would have served as Lily’s 18-month birthday, explaining that she felt drawn to reflect on the occasion.
“I wasn’t intending to write this. Or anything at all today. But my heart feels open and feels like it’s spilling these words, so I don’t think twice, I just write it,” Kieffer wrote. “And I hope sharing it can give you a look inside our family’s heart. Happy 18 months Lily girl.”
Kieffer has honored her late child via Instagram on multiple occasions, one of which spoke to her family dynamic as she held Mia over her baby bump in August. “1 baby earth side, 1 baby heaven side, 1 baby in between,” Kieffer captioned the post. “Closest to heaven that I’ll ever be on this side of life. A unique position to be in. A scenario I could never have imagined would be ours. My third pregnancy, I know what to expect, I’ve been here before. But all of a sudden it’s all new. And no way you could ever prepare. Navigating emotions of so much joy and excitement to meet this new soul who has been chosen for us. But then also the drastic dichotomy of the deepest sadness, grief, ache, right alongside it. My family dynamic forever changed.”
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