Gail Rudnick and Kim Murstein — the no-nonsense hosts of hit podcast series “Excuse My Grandma” — are The Post’s brand-new advice columnists,
From family feuds to friendship fallouts, money, marriage and sex, there’s no topic too taboo to tackle, and the native New Yorkers will hash out each issue from their differing perspectives to tell the tough-love truth — and you’ll thank them for it.
This week they’re tackling a family member who dislikes their brother’s girlfriend, and the two get heated over a reader who says they don’t want kids — with the pressure turning to Kim as well.
Dear Excuse My Advice,
I really am not a fan of my brother’s girlfriend, but I put in the effort. What should I do?
Grandma Gail: I think you voice your opinion if you see a habit that you don’t like and that’s disturbing and disrupting of the family unit. Unless she’s a mass murderer, it’s really his choice to pick who he likes.
Kim: When I have been dating people, you always give your advice.
Grandma Gail: Well I do, because I saw some red flags in a lot of the people. But you weren’t in a permanent relationship.
Kim: If you’re the family members who have an issue with that person that your child is dating, say it once in the beginning, and do not say it five hundred times over the next however long of this relationship.
Grandma Gail: Well, sometimes they don’t hear.
Kim: No, I feel that they — me — hears. I think that people take it in, and they are obviously making the active decision to either continue seeing that person or not. And it just strains the family relationship when you keep beating someone down about the decisions that they’re making.
Grandma Gail: What families might say is, “Is this person good for you in the long run?” And that should be a conversation if you’re close with your family and you want their opinion. If you don’t want their opinion, you’re going to do whatever you want anyway.
Dear Excuse My Advice,
My parents talk about future grandchildren as if it’s a given. And each comment makes me feel feel more pressured. How do I tell them I don’t want children?
Grandma Gail: Ohhhh, that I don’t know. I think it’s a very normal thing for a parent to want grandchildren. But if you definitely don’t want children, you should really discuss it with your parents alone, and say, “Listen, a family is not going to be part of the situation.” Let them know out front. That’s a personal decision. And I think it’s when you’re going to have children, not if you’re going to have children.
Kim: A lot of people don’t want kids.
Grandma Gail: Okay. Okay.
Kim: So, I think that —
Grandma Gail: Then, their wishes have to be respected.
Kim: You know, I’m turning 30 soon, but I have some time. Whether she thinks so or not. And I know you’re more traditional and all and had kids in your 20s.
Grandma Gail: I already had two children by the time I was 30.
Kim: Different situation. But nowadays we know there’s so much flexibility. So.
Grandma Gail: Correct.
Kim: I am currently not in a rush.
Grandma Gail: First get married, then we’ll talk about children.
Kim: One step at a time.
Grandma Gail: One step at a time.
Read the full article here
