DEAR ABBY: My oldest granddaughter will be looking at colleges soon. My son and her mother are divorced. My parents gave my son (their grandson) money to put away in accounts for his daughters’ college. Instead, he helped himself to that money before the divorce. When his ex-wife told me about it, I confronted him. I decided not to tell my parents about it because I was afraid it might shock them into a stroke or heart attack. They are in their 90s.
I have put away some money to help pay for college, but it won’t cover the costs. I have kept this a secret because I don’t trust my son to manage it. When I asked him how he planned to help pay for college, he said he would use the money he now pays for child support. I don’t find that answer satisfactory.
I feel like a failure for having raised a son who would take money that belongs to his kids. My granddaughter is upset and feels her father has ruined her future. She also thinks I should tell my parents that he stole the money they intended for her. What do you think I should do? — MORTIFIED IN MASSACHUSETTS
DEAR MORTIFIED: I suspect that you didn’t tell your parents what your son did because you are ashamed of how he has turned out. That he would steal from his daughters is despicable. I don’t blame your granddaughter for being angry with her father for what he did. I doubt that your parents knowing the truth will affect their health. Inform them about what happened to the college fund, in case they have been planning to leave anything in their estate to their grandson.
DEAR ABBY: I have conflicting feelings regarding Valentine’s Day. I believe it is a celebration for couples rather than co-workers. My husband’s office staff (eight young women under the age of 30) insist on celebrating Valentine’s Day with decorations on all office doors, complete with hearts and cupids. They have a catered lunch with specialty treats of chocolate-covered strawberries, fudge hearts and the customary heart candies that read “Be Mine,” “I Love You”, etc.
My husband has been with this company for 30 years, and we’ve been together for 15 of them, but this Valentine’s Day celebration began only four years ago. I am 65 and have worked 20-plus years for a Fortune 500 corporate office and NEVER has Valentine’s Day been celebrated in the office. Christmas, yes. Fourth of July, yes. But Valentine’s Day? Am I just old and cranky? This has been a source of contention between my husband and me since it began. — NOT LOVIN’ THAT IN TEXAS
DEAR NOT LOVIN’: I have heard of some people loving their jobs; perhaps this is their way of showing it. It may also be the employer’s way of showing appreciation for their (largely female) support staff. Unless you have gotten a “whiff” that there is more than that going on, let it ride.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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