- “Overwhelmed in Ohio” seeks advice on dealing with a new, intrusive neighbor constantly asking for items.
- “In a Dilemma in Pennsylvania” asks how to handle her husband’s brother dating his past one-night stand.
- A 17-year-old in the West worries about his thumb-sucking habit being exposed in college.
DEAR ABBY: I moved into my apartment four months ago. While my sister, her son and I were moving things in, my new next-door neighbor introduced herself. She has since become intrusive. I am an introvert, and she knocks on my door wanting everything from plastic bags to cigarettes and alcohol. Every day since I moved here, she has been asking for something. She came six times yesterday. I’d like to be her friend, but she takes and I give. I’m tired. Help, please. — OVERWHELMED IN OHIO
DEAR OVERWHELMED: A way to fix this would be to tell your neighbor the truth. Tell her you would like to be a considerate neighbor, but you are not a convenience store and do not wish to be disturbed on a daily basis. Then, when she comes around asking for cigarettes, liquor or plastic bags (which are choking our landfills and our waterways), tell her you are fresh out — and repeat it as necessary. If she persists, discuss it with the management of your apartment building.
DEAR ABBY: My brother-in-law is currently in a relationship with a woman who was intimate with my husband many years before we married. It was a one-night thing, but now she is with my BIL and is going to be at family functions. I’m afraid it’s going to be awkward, and I’m not comfortable. My husband is supportive of whatever I choose to do. The rest of the family has no issue with it because, of course, it’s not their issue. I need advice. — IN A DILEMMA IN PENNSYLVANIA
DEAR DILEMMA: This is not a dilemma unless you choose to make it one. A one-night stand is not a relationship, and the woman is not a cause for concern. What happened between them once, many years ago before your marriage, shouldn’t be a threat to you or your relationship with your husband’s family. If anyone is tasteless enough to bring it up, treat it with humor or say you don’t wish to discuss it. Then act like the lady you are and be cordial.
DEAR ABBY: I’m a 17-year-old guy, and I still suck my thumb, though I do it mostly when I’m in bed. I am going to college next year, and I’m worried I might get outed by a roommate if I’m caught. Is my habit that unusual, and do you have any advice on how to stop it? It’s like an addiction. — EMBARRASSSED IN THE WEST
DEAR EMBARRASSSED: You are not alone in having this problem. In the past, I have heard from other adults who suck their thumbs. Comfort yourself with the thought that it’s not an addiction and not all that unusual. Stress has been known to cause people to suck their thumbs. One way to discourage the habit would be to keep yourself from becoming overly tired. Another would be to coat your thumbs with a bad-tasting substance. (Search online or ask your pharmacist to recommend something.) That, coupled with the fear of being ridiculed, may do the trick.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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