DEAR ABBY: My grandson is 2 and has started to call me “Mimi.” The problem is that his other grandmother chose Mimi for herself. My daughter-in-law is annoyed and does not want him calling me Mimi. She also doesn’t want me to be called Mom-Mom because he calls her Ma-Ma. Am I wrong to be upset? I’ve been an active caregiver in this child’s life since his birth. His other Mimi does not live nearby and makes no effort to be in her grandchild’s life — not even by phone. She just uses the term Mimi to sound good to her Facebook friends.
I know this is silly, but is it wrong for me to be upset? He needs something simple to call me when we go to playgrounds and can’t find me. I feel that he can have two Mimis. I grew up with two moms. — NICKNAME IN THE EAST
DEAR NICKNAME: More than one Mimi could be confusing. The most important thing is your relationship with your grandchild, not who has dibs on a certain name. I suggest you let the other grandmother claim “Mimi” while you collaborate with the little boy on a new nickname for you. If he takes part in the decision, it will be easier for him to remember and a lot more special.
DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 12 years and have two stepchildren. My 37-year-old stepson is the challenging one. He’s the biggest cheapskate I have come across in my entire life. Although he earns a good living in his profession, he rarely picks up the tab when we go out to dinner or drinks, and he almost never picks up his own tab, either. He seems to expect that we, as parents, are obligated to take care of his expenses.
My wife has recently begun picking up his portion, but I find it infuriating that he makes no gesture at all to pay his own way. Should I just let it go and continue letting his mother pick up his portion (from her separate account), while I continue to stress about it? — CHEAPSKATE’S STEPDAD IN NEW MEXICO
DEAR STEPDAD: Has your wife asked you not to talk with her son about this? If she hasn’t, have you told him he’s too old for Mom to constantly pay his tab, particularly in light of the fact that he’s a fully employed adult? (One would think he should have volunteered, if only occasionally.) I will assume you have told your wife how you feel about this, that when she picks up her son’s portion it makes you lose your appetite. Start there, but if she continues, remember that that money is hers, and how she chooses to spend it is her business.
DEAR ABBY: The manager of the dining room in my senior living center has a habit of shaking hands with residents at their tables. To avoid his hand, I often say my hand is wet or greasy. How can I best decline his unsanitary effort? — HEALTHY HANDS IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR HEALTHY: The manager wants to appear friendly and welcoming. Because you prefer not to shake hands while dining, simply tell him as much. If you say it with a polite smile and a good-natured tone, it shouldn’t cause embarrassment.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren. For nearly four decades, Jeanne Phillips penned this column, which was founded in 1956 by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 270135, Kansas City, MO 64127.
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