DEAR ABBY: One of our co-workers doesn’t want to be a closer friend even though at work we say we love each other. We want to take the friendship to a deeper level, but she hesitates when we try to hang out outside of work.
She has a mansion that many people in our office have seen, but she hasn’t invited us over. She’ll only go to the movies with us. We are worried it is because, in a movie theater, we can’t talk to her. Are we getting mixed messages or coming on too strong? — GIRLS AT WORK IN MICHIGAN
DEAR GIRLS: You are coming on way too strong. There are work relationships and personal relationships. They are not always interchangeable.
The woman may “love” working with you. But to assume that it’s OK to pressure her into inviting you to her home or to be grilled about her personal life is wrong. You may mean well, but you girls need to accept the relationship as it is.
DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend carries his keys and several metal accessories on a carabiner, which is always clipped to his belt loop. He lives in my home and is a frequent passenger in my car.
I have noticed that his key clip and other items are damaging the paint on my car and door frames at the house as he exits and enters. I have asked him to please remove the clip or make another arrangement for his keys, and although he says he’s “working on the problem,” nothing changes. I’m ready to refuse entry to this key monster. Advice? — DINGED IN OHIO
DEAR DINGED: Only this. It seems that your irresponsible boyfriend lacks respect for other people’s property or he would have dealt with this promptly.
Estimate the cost of refinishing your car and door frames, and then offer him the opportunity to settle up what he owes you, or tell him it’s time to move.
DEAR ABBY: My wife and I are disgusted by something we (and our grandson) have never before encountered. Our ex-daughter-in-law of 10 years recently told our 16-year-old grandson she kicked her latest boyfriend out because he would not have sex with her. Our grandson was very upset (as were we). Isn’t this considered some sort of abuse?
Our grandson and his brother haven’t lived with their mother for the last five years because they were tired of her smoking, drinking and revolving door of boyfriends. They live happily with their father and have little to do with their mother. — DISGUSTED IN COLORADO
DEAR DISGUSTED: Your grandson is a teenager; he isn’t 8. That his mother would say what she did to him is surprising, but it wasn’t “abuse.” Could she have been tipsy when she said it? Fortunately, your grandson no longer lives under her roof and has a father with better judgment. Count your blessings and let this pass.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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