DEAR ABBY: I’ve been married to the same man for nearly 50 years. We raised a sweet family, had successful careers, and never strayed from each other. For the last 20-plus years, I’ve had little or no desire for sex. I understand it medically as well as emotionally, but Hubby doesn’t get it at all. He thinks we should be like we were back in the ’70s and ’80s.
I’m happy for senior couples who engage in healthy sexual relationships. I am just no longer into it and, honestly, also not interested in taking medication to “enhance” me. What’s wrong with a man taking something to “unenhance” himself? I know the biblical duty God gave for procreation, hence, 100-year-old men fathering children with young women. The balance has never been BALANCED.
Yes, I had a hysterectomy 20 years ago. After that, I lost all interest, yet Hubby still had needs. Some are met; many are not. It is now a BIG issue. I’d like to sail peacefully through the next 10 years, if I have that long. I’d like him to find happiness, too. Is it crazy to divorce over such an age-old need for a man? — HAPPY THIS WAY IN SOUTH CAROLINA
DEAR HAPPY: “Castrating” your husband is not the answer. If you two can agree on an arrangement that will benefit both of you, it would be emotionally and financially far less disruptive than a divorce.
DEAR ABBY: I have an acquaintance, “Tina,” who I believe is fraudulently using her GoFundMe fundraising webpage. A close friend of hers set it up a few years ago to assist with medical bills related to a rare form of cancer that will never fully go away.
When the page began, Tina was soliciting donations on Facebook and sending text messages to remind everyone to donate. Later on, when she and her husband went out of town for surgery, they posted about it as if it were a vacation.
Recently, she has had some legal bills for an unrelated matter, and a year after her last medical donation, she received a hefty donation that matched the amount of her legal bills. I suspect the person who donated the money was duped into believing Tina had another large medical bill, but she used that donation for her legal expenses.
On top of this, Tina has opened a new fundraising page with a sob story about her cancer returning and being hospitalized about a week before that request.
Abby, I know full well Tina was healthy as an ox at the time, was not in the hospital and probably set this up to create a smokescreen to protect her malicious intentions. Now I keep wondering if I should report it, or if I’m better off minding my own business. — NOT ADDING UP IN FLORIDA
DEAR NOT ADDING UP: If you sincerely think Tina has been abusing her GoFundMe page, report it. The process is not difficult. There is a notification button at the bottom of the page that can be pushed to alert its “Fraud Squad” that something shady might be going on.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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