DEAR ABBY: You sometimes ask readers to share their pet peeves. I am a public school teacher, and here is mine: Parents wonder why their children misbehave, argue with them and act out with attention-getting behaviors. My advice to them: Put down those cellphones and pay attention to your kids!
I just had a conference with a mother whose children argue, pout and scream when they are told to do something at home. These children have no special needs and don’t demonstrate those behaviors at school. Abby, the woman texted on her phone throughout the meeting. That behavior is not OK.
The next time I encounter a parent who does it, I will ask the person if he or she would like to suspend the conference to take care of the pressing business. Perhaps these parents need to be embarrassed a bit so they will realize how inappropriate texting or talking on the phone is when face-to-face with another person. — A VENTING EDUCATOR
DEAR EDUCATOR: I agree that what the parent did was extremely rude. It sent the unmistakable message that not only was the meeting not important to her, but neither was anything you had to say. If you are asking me for permission to inform parents that cellphones must be silenced and out of sight during conferences with you, you have it. My advice is to say it as soon as the parent enters your classroom. You can frame it as parents following the same rules as students in your space.
DEAR ABBY: I have three grown children. One son, “Charles,” with his wife and three elementary-school-aged children, rents the house next door to me for about $1,200 a month less than I might charge a nonfamily renter. My other two kids live hundreds of miles away. My younger son, “James,” is unmarried and without children. He thinks I’m being unfair to him and his sister because I’m not charging the maximum rent the house might get, thereby reducing his inheritance. I place great value in having Charles and his family living next door to me. James thinks I should be regularly compensating him and his sister for what he claims I’m giving to Charles and his family. What do you think? — LANDLORD DAD
DEAR LANDLORD DAD: I think it’s presumptuous and ill-mannered of your younger son to count his inheritance while his father is still living and breathing. Charles’ rent is between you and him, and frankly, James shouldn’t be privy to the details of the arrangement. Tell your grasping younger son that every time he brings this up in the future, you’ll deduct $1,200 from his share of the estate and divide it between Charles and his sister.
DEAR ABBY: I have two daughters, ages 19 and 21. They both have jobs. My husband and I would like them to help pay for a family vacation because they expect expensive experiences. Are we wrong to ask them to contribute? — HELPING OUT IN NEW YORK
DEAR HELPING: I don’t think it would be wrong to enlighten your daughters about what the family vacation is costing. If their expectations will uncomfortably strain your budget, explain that you will need them to chip in so they can experience everything they want.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren. For nearly four decades, Jeanne Phillips penned this column, which was founded in 1956 by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 270135, Kansas City, MO 64127.
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