DEAR ABBY: I am a person with a million-dollar heart and a 5-cent bank account. I have big dreams that I know could change lives. I want to write a book about my experience with emotional abuse so I can help others heal. I also dream of starting a soda stand to build something tangible with my kids.
The problem is that my current life is exhausting. I’m raising kids and stepkids, navigating co-parenting drama and working a job I hate just to survive. By the time I finish the daily grind, I’m broke and bone-tired. I know there is more out there for me, but I’m struggling to stay focused when my reality feels like a trap. How can I start these projects when I’m just trying to keep my head above water? I don’t want to escape into my dreams; I want to build them. — SODA STAND DREAMER
DEAR SODA STAND DREAMER: If you try to write a book and start a business on top of everything else, you may not do any of it well. Choose one dream and put the other on hold for now. If you choose the book, set aside some time each day (or week) and dedicate yourself to writing during that time — no excuses. If you choose the soda stand, get a part-time job at a similar business where you can learn the ropes and earn some startup money. Either dream will require a lot of work and perseverance, but don’t give up!
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have a blended family. When he received child support for his daughters, I didn’t think it was any of my business what he did with the money. When I received child support for my sons, he thought I should tell him what I spent it on. I don’t think it’s any of his business. Who’s right? Please advise me, as this has been an ongoing argument in our relationship for 20 years. Mind you, our children are grown now with children of their own, and it’s time to put this to rest. Who is right? — HAPPILY MARRIED EXCEPT FOR THIS
DEAR HAPPILY MARRIED: You are right. You are also entitled to some privacy if it’s important to you. In light of the fact that the child support money your husband received was not a subject of discussion, I see no reason why he should feel he has the right to know how you spent yours. What matters in both cases is that the money went toward caring for the children. I truly hope that’s what happened.
DEAR ABBY: I was invited to my nephew’s wedding in a small town. Without my knowledge, the mother of the groom verbally offered my hotel room to the mother of the bride of a different wedding! (The connection is that they both used the same wedding planner.) When she approached me, I declined to give up my room and move to a different hotel. Subsequently, she unilaterally withdrew my wedding invitation. Am I obligated to send a gift? — TOTALLY STUNNED
DEAR STUNNED: What the groom’s mother did is appalling, but don’t take it out on your nephew unless you have reason to believe he was complicit in these shenanigans.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren. For nearly four decades, Jeanne Phillips penned this column, which was founded in 1956 by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 270135, Kansas City, MO 64127.
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