DEAR ABBY: I’ve been seeing “Brad” for nine months. We both have children of our own. He has a daughter, and I have a son. The little girl is a few months older than my 7-year-old son. I can see myself having a family with Brad.
However, one of my biggest pet peeves is when children use baby talk. Brad’s daughter seems to be doing it more and more, and it’s driving me crazy! My son doesn’t talk like that, and when he has, I’ve corrected the situation. It’s not just because it’s his daughter; I would feel this way with any other kid who spoke like this.
I don’t think Brad notices. I have tried addressing it with his daughter by telling her that big girls don’t talk that way, but it has been futile. I feel the need to bring this up with Brad, but I’m afraid my reason is not valid. I don’t want to tell him, “Have her stop because she’s annoying the heck out of me.”
Brad has addressed some things with my son, and I’ve been OK with it. I think we can speak openly about our concerns in regard to each other’s children. I need help with wording my dilemma without sounding like a harpy. Please help. — BEYOND ANNOYED
DEAR BEYOND ANNOYED: Brad’s daughter uses baby talk because that is how the adults in her life have spoken to her. If they had used plain English instead, she wouldn’t be speaking the way she does. I agree that you can’t tell this man that what she’s doing drives you up a wall. Instead, explain to him that if she does this around other children, she is likely to be teased for it and that it’s time to teach her to speak properly. You can’t control what her mother does, but her father could be helpful in this situation once he recognizes that it may create problems for her.
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DEAR ABBY: I’m an 82-year-old retired librarian, openly gay and a member of the Friends of the Library. The Friends group I’m active in is associated with a branch library I managed more than 50 years ago. The current branch manager is a gay man around 30 years of age. I see him at the meetings of Friends as well as when I visit the library for my own reading.
I’d be lying if I said I’m not attracted to him, but I have no romantic designs, and there’s no way he would think of me in those terms. I’d like to invite him to lunch, as an act of friendship, but in view of my attraction to him (which he may be aware of), I’m afraid it may seem a little creepy. Should I ask him to lunch or just try to put him out of my mind? — TORN IN TEXAS
DEAR TORN: You may want to believe you “have no romantic designs,” but you’re clearly open to the idea. Instead of a one-on-one lunch, why not invite him to a social gathering as part of a larger group? That will keep your overture friendly rather than romantic. As you get to know him better, if you find you still want more than friendship, either confess your feelings or take a step back to end the self-torture.
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