DEAR ABBY: I am a divorced man in my 60s. Twelve years ago, a neighbor woman who I’m attracted to popped into my house to have a smoke break out on my back deck. When she arrived, I was in the shower. She came in like she always did (she had permission) and walked over to the fireplace. As she turned, she took two steps and froze because at that same moment, I came out of the shower 5 feet from my bedroom. I was naked. I froze as she looked at me. Abby, she looked me straight in the eye, and then her gaze dropped to my groin. It stayed there for about two seconds, then she gave me a smile, turned away and went out on my deck like nothing had happened.
I can’t forget that day. My heart was pounding the way it does the first time you meet someone. She was, and still is, married. That’s why I didn’t approach her, even though I kind of wish I had. I haven’t been with a woman since my divorce 16 years ago, which may be why I still think about it. We are still friends and nothing like that has happened since — even though I wish it would happen tomorrow. This is the first time I have confided this to anyone. We never talk about that heart-pounding day. What do you suggest? — HIDDEN FEELINGS IN PENNSYLVANIA
DEAR HIDDEN: I suggest you get back in that shower and turn the cold water on full blast. My next suggestion is to start looking at dating sites because I think you are more than ready.
DEAR ABBY: My grandmother and I are very close. She is 83 and super independent. She loves keeping busy and is always running around town. I need your advice on how to get through to her. She has always driven like a “cowboy.” She speeds and is impatient on the road. If she sees someone jaywalking, she’ll speed up to “scare them,” as she puts it. It’s dangerous and worrisome. I have told her many times that she’s driving dangerously, but her reply is that she’s never gotten into an accident, so why would she now? Her agility and reflexes are declining as she’s aging, and I’m scared she will hurt someone or herself if she keeps driving this way. How can I get her to take seriously this plea to drive more safely? — SCARED IN CANADA
DEAR SCARED: In some jurisdictions in the United States, a driver could be charged with an attempted vehicular assault even if the intent was to “scare” a pedestrian. Consult an attorney familiar with the vehicle codes in Canada and ask if this is also true there. Because her judgment is so poor, your aggressively driving grandmother should not be behind the wheel. Whether she is willing to admit it or not, at 83 her reaction time has slowed down. What she fails to take into consideration is that not all pedestrians react the same when a car barrels toward them. While some might jump out of the way, others may “freeze” and be badly injured or killed.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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