DEAR ABBY: For the last four years, I have been hosting my son “Dennis,” his 6-year-old son and his brother’s 8-year-old daughter every other weekend.
Dennis bought a puppy, “Champ,” to go with his house and brings him on these visits. Champ is nice enough but extremely active. He runs wild and barks, digs holes and has never been trained. The grandkids are cousins, and they are thick as thieves. They love running around indoors and out, but I am worn out.
This arrangement caused problems between Dennis and me because he isn’t as on top of managing Champ as he thinks he is. Also, I am the de facto dog watcher when Dennis has plans, and that’s four or five times a year for three days to a week. I have told him more than once that he needs to get the animal trained or hire a sitter. He has not.
Dennis was going to take a car trip with his brother, sister-in-law, niece and his brother’s dog. Because his brother wouldn’t take two dogs, Dennis asked me to watch Champ, which I declined. I caught heck, and it was stressful, but I stuck to my guns.
Wouldn’t you know that Dennis will be in town helping his brother clear out a property for sale and now he needs me to watch his dog for the weekend? Why is he asking me and putting me right back in the same position? Can you give me some insight? I will pass on the reply and follow your lead. — DOGGED IN WASHINGTON
DEAR DOGGED: Your entitled son is conveniently ignoring the fact that his undisciplined animal is too much for you to handle because he doesn’t like your message. He takes for granted that Mom won’t stick to her guns. For the sake of your safety, please do not allow him to get away with it.
Dennis is an irresponsible pet owner and too lazy to take his dog for obedience training. If he needs a pet sitter, he should hire one or board his dog at a kennel while he is away.
DEAR ABBY: I know there can be regional differences in planning rehearsal dinners. Our son is getting married next year to a girl who lives about four hours from our home. The bride is insisting on having the rehearsal on Thursday and the rehearsal dinner on Friday, followed by a “welcome party,” which will be hosted by her friends.
Every place we have suggested for the dinner has been tabled, pending the coordination of this welcome party. Further, the bride wants a large number of additional people to be added to the rehearsal dinner. Are my husband and I out of touch with the current view for wanting an intimate rehearsal dinner, including only the immediate family and those participating in the wedding? — GROOM’S MOM IN THE SOUTH
DEAR MOM: According to Emily Post, the groom’s parents traditionally host the rehearsal dinner, which includes the wedding party, young wedding party participants’ parents, the officiant and his or her spouse and the couple’s close relatives. According to Emily, you are not obligated to entertain out-of-town guests.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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