DEAR ABBY: I am 70 and consider my mental faculties to be normal. One aging issue my wife and I have noticed is that I tend to repeat stories to our children, grandchildren and friends. Our children can be less than forgiving toward this old boomer as they deliver a comment like, “Yeah, we’ve already heard about that,” sometimes in a rude or caustic tone.
We think this phenomenon is common to a lot of people our age. I have started prefacing my stories with “Did I tell you about …” before talking. They could be nicer by saying early on in the story: “Yes, Dad, you’ve told that story. Is anything new?” What does Dear Abby think? — RECOLLECTIONS ON REPEAT
DEAR RECOLLECTIONS: I agree that your family and friends could be more polite when they point out that they’ve “heard this one before.” However, if you find people are interrupting your “greatest hits” too often, it’s time to mention it to your doctor.
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DEAR ABBY: My thoughtful staff bought me a Fitbit last Christmas. It’s a generous gift, but I haven’t used it, and I don’t think I will. How do I tell them I appreciate the gift and their generosity but I just don’t want it and won’t wear it. They have already addressed the fact that they haven’t seen it on my wrist. — WON’T USE IT IN FLORIDA
DEAR WON’T USE IT: Your staff must be devoted and wish you a long and healthy life. I find the fact that they gave you a Fitbit to be quite impressive. In fairness, I must warn you. If you put it on, I know from experience that you may find yourself immediately addicted. The way to handle this might actually be to give it a try and tell your employees that you are using it at home. It may prod you off your behind and into a healthier lifestyle.
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DEAR ABBY: My husband and I were together for 10 years, married for nine. He recently passed away at the age of 42. His death was unexpected, and I was the one who found him. He’d had an epileptic seizure while home alone. I have serious anxiety driving home every day now.
I’ve been looking for grief counseling, support groups, etc., but there seems to be a recurring theme: Young widows and widowers (under 50) are underserved. I don’t mean to diminish anyone else’s grief, but at the same time, I do not want to hear “We had a great long life together” from a much older woman when my experience has been nothing like hers. Members of the younger generation need different support, and it just isn’t there. –– YOUNG AND GRIEVING
DEAR YOUNG AND GRIEVING: Please allow me to offer my deepest sympathy. Losing your husband at such an early age must have been a terrible shock. It’s not surprising that you have trouble relating to people whose loss happened much later in life.
For a support group geared toward younger people, you might have better luck online. Search for “young widow support group,” and you will find chat forums and video meetups as well as resources to help you rebuild your life. It’s not the same as meeting face-to-face, but it may help.
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