Award-winning heart surgeon in SoCal blows up the work-life balance myth

Work-life balance and demanding high-stakes jobs rarely coexist and the majority of the workforce across the globe is striving for both at the moment.

A California-based cardiothoracic surgeon‘s new perspective suggests that we may be looking at the entire situation through distorted glasses.

San Diego’s award-winning, board-certified cardiothoracic surgeon Dr. Alexandra Kharazi says the entire idea rests on a culture that tries to help individuals “balance” the lives they fundamentally dislike.

“Much of the advice around work-life balance operates on the assumption that everyone works a predictable desk job, where boundaries are clean and laptops can simply be shut at 5:00 p.m.,” Kharazi wrote in a Forbes article, busting all the myths about modern-day work.

“I have missed dinners, holidays and sleep. I have walked into hospitals at 3 a.m. while most of my city was safely unconscious.

“I have spent hours trying to save people who statistically should not have survived… And despite all of it, I still love what I do,” the author of “The Heart of Fear” added.

She argues that fulfillment doesn’t come when one achieves a perfect balance between work and personal life but rather from aligning your career with a purpose you’re passionate about: “You cannot meditate or vacation your way out of a career that isn’t meant for you.”

She further states that most people think it’s healthy to spend all Sunday golfing or watching sports, but if a doctor spends that same time working on their passion, people call them “absent.”

We, as a society, don’t judge people for spending long hours on hobbies, but we often criticize them for spending that same time on their work.

Kharazi says that the problem isn’t that successful people love their jobs too much — it’s that we try to force everyone to fit the same definition of a “balanced” life, even when their goals and interests are different.

The surgeon highlighted that while the “commitment to a life-saving mission is entirely gender-neutral,” research suggests that female physicians face significantly more work-home conflict than their male colleagues in a similar job.

“The reality is not that women are expected to choose; rather, the reality is women have to choose,” wrote Kharazi, who specializes in high-risk heart and lung surgeries.

She urges people to stop fooling themselves that they are only doing mediocre things to find balance and start rejecting the generalized cultural narrative around work and personal life.

“If you are drowning, instead of asking for a lighter schedule, consider asking yourself if you are in the right room.

“I believe the ultimate form of career liberation isn’t a flexible schedule — it is radical honesty with yourself,” Kharazi added.

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