A riled-up grandma is calling out what she considers to be extreme measures taken by today’s overprotective parents — sparking a massive online melee.
Randi Crawford, who happens to be a parenting coach, started the debate by announcing that she was finding herself baffled by the “mind-boggling” boundaries enforced by modern moms and dads.
“The amount of rules going into the new parent playbook is very mind-boggling to Gen Xers like myself. Who is telling these young parents that grandma needs so much clearance to be near the baby?” she questioned in a recent video.
Crawford maintains that several of her friends, all of whom were thrilled to become grandmothers, have been subjected to a rigorous protocol for meeting new family members.
“There are all these things that have to happen before that grandma is allowed to be near that baby,” she railed, listing TDAP and flu shots as well as multi-day quarantining and a clothing change after travel as prerequisites for visitation.
Frustrating as these measures seem to Crawford, health care professionals actually do advise parents to err on the side of vaccination before visitation.
“Since newborns’ immune systems are still developing, they can’t receive most vaccines until they’re several months old,” said Jonathan Grein, MD, director of Hospital Epidemiology and infection control officer at Cedars-Sinai. “That means parents, grandparents and close caregivers become the first line of defense against serious illnesses.”
The TDAP vaccination, which protects against whooping cough, a potentially fatal illness in infants, requires a booster every 10 years.
Meanwhile, infants six months and under are vulnerable to serious complications from the flu, making the flu vaccine a recommended protocol for visiting grandparents.
Crawford’s tirade extended beyond vaccination requests, however.
“When you finally make it to your next checkpoint, you have to call the family and make sure that mom and baby are ready physically and mentally for you to be there,” she said.
“Do not just show up,” she emphasized with outrage.
However, many commentators were quick to argue that calling to ensure a visit is still welcome, versus showing up unannounced, is a healthy boundary that supports families physically and emotionally as they transition into a new period of their lives.
Crawford also railed against the current trend of parents making family members ask to touch or show affection to the baby.
“When you show up … you can’t kiss the baby. Do not kiss the baby, or there’s gonna be, like, nuclear family fights going on,” she lamented.
Health care experts nearly universally recommend that visitors avoid kissing newborns, as their immune systems are underdeveloped and thus vulnerable to infections such as herpes simplex virus (HSV).
As one commenter shared, “I’m pushing 30, and I get a cold sore outbreak every time I’m sick or have significant stress in my life because someone decided it was a good idea to kiss me as a baby.”
Crawford continued to rage against what most viewers saw as reasonable parental boundaries.
“Whatever you do, do not take a picture and post that baby online.”
Experts have often said, however, that posting pictures of children online leaves them vulnerable to digital kidnapping and sexual predation.
“Do we think that this is smart parenting, or has everyone lost their damn minds?” Crawford concluded.
Judging from the comments section, most viewers felt like it was Crawford herself who was out of line and mind, with many questioning her credentials as a parenting coach.
“What I just heard was — my comfort matters more than the health and safety of my newborn grandbaby,” said one.
“This is no different than car seats evolving with safety measures. When you know better, you do better,” added another.
A self-identifying pediatric nurse practitioner also defended the protocols Crawford criticized.
“I am telling my parents to implement these boundaries. Hope that helps,” she said.
“We watched you guys’ parents and said omg, how do we literally do the exact opposite,” said another.
“Your title to a child doesn’t make you entitled to that child,” underscored another.
The overall response was perhaps best surmised by this mic drop:
“My mom’s a lot like you. I haven’t spoken to her in five years.”
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