Jessie always imagined herself as a “boss mom.” But after welcoming her 18-month-old son, she discovered that chasing that title didn’t feel like happiness at all.
The Melbourne mom preferred the chance to stay home, raise her son, and make memories. A “stay-at-home-princess,” as her husband fondly puts it.
“I tried, and personally, it was exhausting trying to stay on top of everything,” she told Kidspot.
“This led me to close my business and rely solely on my husband’s income.”
“He wants me to be taken care of”
But swapping financial independence for full-time motherhood wasn’t as simple as it sounded.
“Spending money on myself for things we don’t necessarily ‘need’ brought up feelings of guilt. It was weird to feel that after having spent my whole adult life buying what I wanted, when I wanted, without a second thought,” she revealed.
That’s because the money she was spending wasn’t her own.
“It almost takes me back to being a kid, asking your parents if they can buy you something and sitting in the discomfort that they may say no or tell you to stop asking for things,” she admits.
Her husband, however, couldn’t be more supportive, loving that their son is having an enriched childhood thanks to Jessie’s sacrifices.
“He wants me to be taken care of so that I can take care of my son from overflow. It means the world to me,” she admits.
“These conversations aren’t had”
At first, Jessie worried he might feel left out seeing their adventures during the day.
“I used to worry about sending him photos during the day as I thought he’d be thinking we are off living our best lives while he’s working. Turns out that’s the exact thought he has, only it’s with pride, not judgment.”
It hasn’t always been easy to open up about the financial side of motherhood.
“I think money has always been a little bit of a taboo topic,” she explained.
“Because these conversations aren’t had, I think many women feel like it’s just them. Or at least this was my reality anyway.”
On social media, stay-at-home moms often appear carefree and confident, but Jessie says that image rarely reflects the whole truth.
“When you see other SAHMs living their best life online, they appear so comfortable and relaxed. You would never even assume they are dealing with this behind closed doors,” she said.
Taking to TikTok, Jessie shared her story. She was stunned by the response.
The comment section overflowed with moms agreeing, and she received hundreds of DMs.
Women from every walk of life and financial bracket: “Women who wanted to have kids, but haven’t yet because they’re petrified of financial dependence, women wanting to close their businesses down or leave their jobs but are too attached to the money they make.”
One theme stood out.
“99% of women told me how supportive their husbands were, but it was THEM that was struggling to adjust!” she revealed.
“I think as women we have spent so long trying to prove ourselves in the workforce that it’s almost led us to a pedestal above being a mother. It’s important that we realize we can be considered successful in both roles.”
For Jessie, her new job is more important than any 9-5.
“My job isn’t to earn, it’s simply to nurture, and I really love that aspect of myself,” she shared.
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