“Saturday Night Live” mocked former Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem for being “reassigned under the bus” after President Trump fired her this week.
Ashley Padilla’s Noem – decked out in the 54-year-old’s signature coiffed hair and caked-on makeup – opened the sketch show by claiming she wasn’t axed, she “self-deported,” while taking aim at her rumored plastic surgery and a shocking excerpt from her book about killing her dog.
“I just want to make it clear that I didn’t get fired, I self-deported,” she joked, skewering Noem’s controversial ads that pushed immigrants to leave the US voluntarily.
“And though I may be leaving this job, I will not be ending my mission. As I told my plastic surgeon, the work is never done. But I gave my all to the DHS and I have no regrets, because like they say, you miss 100% of the dogs you don’t shoot.”
Padilla went on to roast the married former South Dakota governor for her $220 million TV ads and her alleged romantic entanglement with top DHS aide Corey Lewandowski.
“I’m proud of what we’ve accomplished … and I think I really nailed it, and by it, I mean my married co-worker in a big, beautifully, flying bedroom 30,000 feet over Minneapolis,” she jested.
“And while I look forward to what comes next, leaving is bittersweet, but the time has come for me to turn in my badge, gun, lips, lashes, teeth and forehead.”
She claimed her goodbye wasn’t permanent, but Colin Jost’s Pete Hegseth jumped in: “Yeah, except that it is.”
Noem, nicknamed ICE Barbie, was ousted Thursday after a string of flubs, from claiming Trump approved her pricey TV spots to dodging questions about her rumored fling with Lewandowski.
Trump tapped her for a brand-new gig as special envoy for “Shield of the Americas.”
Oklahoma GOP Sen. Markwayne Mullin is set to replace her at DHS.
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