Ever think to yourself, “Gosh, my toddler’s being an a–hole.” Well, the reassuring news is you’re not alone.
Because it turns out they’re meant to be that way. Doctor Mike Milobsky has the absolute authority to say what we’re all thinking.
“I can say this with a whole heart, with a full chest, having raised seven children of my own, having been a pediatrician for 25 years. Toddlers are a–holes,” Mike said.
The 80/20 rule
He means it with love.
“They’re a–holes in the greatest, most beautiful, most profound way,” he explains.
However, parents need a way to make it through the difficulties that toddlerhood poses. So that both sanity remains intact and our children have the best chance at learning.
For that reason, he recommends the 80/20 rule, describing it as “the best advice anyone gave me as a parent.”
He explains in a recent TikTok video why.
“It means 80% of the time your interactions with your toddler should essentially be either neutral or positive, and you’re really not disciplining or setting a boundary or correcting them except for 20% of the time. One out of five,” he explained.
“What that mostly means is that we as parents have to alter our expectations and behaviors in order to achieve that balance.”
“Is it harmful and dangerous? Or is it just messy?”
That change could include the environment, the setting, or how their day is structured.
It will mean “we’re not feeling the need to correct and set boundaries and alter behavior.”
Doctor Mike’s comment section was in agreement with his advice.
“One of the worst parents I know gave me the best advice. She said whenever something happens that triggers your need to react, ask yourself… is it harmful and dangerous? Or is it just messy?” wrote one commenter.
“I finally found this balance today. After I got my 2-year-old in her jammies, she ran outside to her water table and started to splash. My reaction was to say no, but I realized it’s not hard to put her in a dry pair. Light bulb moment,” another parent agreed.
A third advised: “When they are that age, someone told me to take them to places with the fewest ‘nos” possible. Playgrounds, children’s museums, arboretums, and beaches. All places where they can explore and get messy and run around safely.”
Overall, Doctor Mike says the payoff is huge: “Your household will be happier. You will be happier. Your child will be happier.”
Would you give this a try?
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