A quarter of Americans want a break from sex (24%), according to new research.
A survey explored how 2,000 adults are viewing intimacy in today’s day and age, finding that some of the reasons they gave for wanting a break being “to learn other forms of intimacy,” “give the body and mind a chance to catch up” or because they “want emotional closeness more.”
Even beyond their personal goals, nearly a third sadly believe romance is dead (30%), believing that real love and romantic gestures are no longer valued today.
These ideas have played a role in half of respondents previously taking an extended break from having sex (52%) for an average of six months.
Conducted by Talker Research in partnership with LELO, the survey found that of those who took a sex sabbatical, 53% said that it made them miss and appreciate it more, while just 11% said it had the opposite effect on them.
Many have found themselves enjoying singledom, with 69% of those who aren’t in relationships content with being single and only 21% actively looking for a relationship.
Those who aren’t looking for relationships said it’s because they are “very comfortable with [my] life at the moment, ” “waiting for the right one to come to me” or simply because they are “satisfied with [my] single life.”
With that in mind, 55% of singles would rather fall in love with life than with someone else next.
Respondents are also looking to be grounded more often, as 47% of single Americans agree that relationships tend to be too focused on the far future instead of the now.
It doesn’t help that half of those surveyed have been in a relationship that was “ruined” by expectations for what it “should” be like (49%).
As a result, a majority of singles said that a relationship is not what they need right now (59%).
“Slowing down and taking a break from sex can be a healthy and beneficial approach in various situations, whether for personal growth, relationship issues or addressing specific issues,” said Luka Matutinovic, chief marketing officer at LELO. “A sex break can allow for a reassessment of sexual desires and needs. Moreover, taking a break from the pressure and focus of sex can reset your relationship and facilitate honesty with yourself and each other.”
But sex isn’t everything: The average person says that just 37% of intimacy has to do with sex, and 57% instead has to do with understanding each other on a personal level.
Wanting more than just physicality, three in four express intimacy to their partner in alternate ways (76%).
Some of their favorite ways to do so are “holding hands,” “kissing and touching” and appreciating small moments together like “brushing his hair.”
Further, four times the percentage of respondents agree that they’d rather have a partner that meets their emotional intimacy needs than their physical intimacy needs.
Still, half of Americans acknowledge that sex is necessary for bringing two people closer romantically (54%).
While 47% believe that taking a break from sex is healthy for couples, 44% of those in relationships said that theirs wouldn’t last a year without sex.
The average person believes that couples should have sex three times a week in order to have a “healthy sex life.”
And when it comes to themselves, on average, Americans admit they can’t go more than five months without kissing or cuddling, and six months with no sex.
“Sex and intimacy are distinct, and while they can coexist, they don’t need to be synonymous,” said Matutinovic. “Taking breaks from sex or focusing on other forms of physical intimacy can actually enhance a sex life by reducing pressure and fostering exploration, as well as introducing new additions to your routine, like sex toys, thus bolstering emotional intimacy.”
NON-SEXUAL WAYS RESPONDENTS ARE INTIMATE
- “Compliments.”
- “’Cuddling.”
- “Giving them a shoulder massage.”
- “Kissing and touching.”
- “Having uplifting words and encouragement.”
- “Cook for them.”
- “Buying gifts.”
- “Holding hands.”
- “Deep spiritual conversation.”
- “Brushing his hair.”
Survey methodology:
Talker Research surveyed 2,000 general population Americans; the survey was commissioned by LELO and administered and conducted online by Talker Research between May 23 and May 27, 2025.
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