In Madi Prewett and her husband Grant Troutt’s quest for continued purity, he gave up “looking at pornography” and smoking marijuana by 2020.
“[In] 2019, I’m following Jesus. I’m early in my faith, still looking at pornography,” Troutt, 29, recalled on the Monday, July 7, episode of his wife’s “Stay True” podcast. “[I’m] still occasionally smoking weed, [and] still falling back into all these sins. It’s this up and down. It’s this three days good, one day bad. It’s this shameful, roller-coaster cycle.”
According to Troutt, he started having “really bad” panic attacks by the end of 2019 and into the start of 2020, which got worse whenever he smoked.
“One of the last times I ever smoked weed, I had this crazy panic attack [and] thought I was overdosing,” he said. “All these moments were happening to me, and as I look back, what that did to me is it scared the heck out of me to not do any drugs. I was like, ‘No more.’”
Troutt also started “taking [his] sexual sin seriously” from then on.
“I was like, ‘Lord, I just need you. I got nothing. I want to be dependent on you,’” Troutt said. “I remember being in my closet, and I was just, like, ‘God, I have nothing but you.’ It drove me to this place where I have nothing but [him]. … I just remember walking with Jesus, [and] he was healing me. It was like he was stripping everything in my life because it was drawing me right into the person of Jesus Christ.”
Looking back, Troutt doesn’t believe that his panic attacks were a direct consequence of his so-called “sexual sins.”
“What I do know is that because of what I was walking through, it led me into the arms of Jesus Christ,” he noted.
Troutt, who now works as a pastor, married Prewett, now 29, in October 2022. They welcomed their daughter, Hosanna, earlier this year. The Bachelor alum also faced similar struggles with her sexuality during adolescence.
“By the grace of God and by the power of Godly community and people around me, I have been free from porn and masturbation for — I don’t even know — 10 years, but that was something that enslaved me and marked me for so long,” Prewett said on a June episode of her podcast. “No matter how much I loved Jesus, I could not shake that sin. I could not break free from porn and masturbation.”
Prewett used to watch a lot of TV shows that featured characters having sex, which led to “wondering certain things” in real life.
“Anytime you live in secret, it’s only going to create more sin, and it’s only going to create more shame because that’s where the enemy thrives,” Prewett added at the time. “I was not able to break free until I brought other people into it, until I stopped letting the enemy run my life with living in secrecy and living in isolation.”
Read the full article here
