Pregnant influencer Lizzie Kieffer is opening up about her family dynamic after the death of her 12-month old daughter.
Kieffer shared a black-and-white video of her holding daughter Mia, 3, over her growing baby bump. “1 baby earth side, 1 baby heaven side, 1 baby in between,” Kieffer wrote over the Instagram clip on Sunday, August 24.
“Closest to heaven that I’ll ever be on this side of life,” Kieffer added in the caption. “A unique position to be in. A scenario I could never have imagined would be ours. My third pregnancy, I know what to expect, I’ve been here before.”
She continued, “But all of a sudden it’s all new. And no way you could ever prepare. Navigating emotions of so much joy and excitement to meet this new soul who has been chosen for us. But then also the drastic dichotomy of the deepest sadness, grief, ache, right alongside it. My family dynamic forever changed.”
Kieffer explained that her contrasting emotions “ebb and flow,” and “sometimes show up massively at the same time.”
“A feeling, or rather a state of being so hard to describe in and of itself, but even more complex with pregnancy,” she wrote. “Things process at different times and some days it feels like it was yesterday, but also too long… how have I not held you in 4 months..?”
Kieffer listed several things she knows “to be true,” including that “there is still good,” and that “some answers will never come until it’s our time too.”
“Experiencing my babies in three vastly different places has undoubtedly changed me, changed our family…but it also has shown me that heaven really isn’t that far away,” she wrote. “It’s around us more than we think if we just pay attention. From the miracle of growing new life, to raising babies, to cherishing how precious and short life really is…heaven is near.”
She concluded, “Whatever you’re going through – experience it. Allow the hurt, the ache. But don’t forget the incredible good still around you. And when those days that feel impossible hit, just remember: At the end of you, that’s where He is. Let Him carry you. 🤍.”
The physical therapist and influencer shared in April that her and husband Matt’s daughter Lily died at 12 months old. Kieffer noted at the time that the family has “come to learn” that Lily had a “large mass on her brain,” sharing that they “could have never known about as she never showed signs.”
“We won’t know more answers with many of these things for months until further testing is done,” Kieffer added.
One month before, the couple announced that they are expecting their third baby.
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