One exasperated woman is wiped out after a crappy confrontation with her butthole of a boyfriend.
A Reddit user took to the website’s “Am I The A–hole?” forum to ask if she was in the wrong for telling her boyfriend she would break up with him “if he doesn’t start wiping his butt.”
The original post on June 13 had in fact been removed by a moderator — but not before the (unfortunately) unforgettable anecdote was shared in the Best of Redditor Updates page.
The 26-year-old woman stated that she had been steady with her boyfriend, then 27, for approximately nine months before they decided to shack up together.
After nearly a year together, things had been good between the pair, she said, except for one “really gross, ridiculous problem.”
Within the first few months of sharing a space, the woman noticed that her boyfriend never had toilet paper in his bathroom, noting that they have a two-bathroom setup and they use separate ones most of the time.
“I figured maybe he used wipes or something else,” she wrote. “But then I started noticing smells. Like, awful smells. Sometimes his laundry would stink in a very specific way. I thought maybe it was just bad hygiene in general, so I brought it up.”
The poster said that her boyfriend got defensive and told her to “drop it.”
“Eventually, after too many suspiciously stained boxers and just a level of funk no grown man should be walking around with, I asked him point-blank: “Do you wipe after you poop?”
According to her, the boyfriend shrugged and said, “Nah, wiping is kinda gay. Why would I touch my own ass?”
“I thought he was joking. I laughed. He didn’t,” she wrote.
As it turned out, the boyfriend “legitimately” believed that wiping “makes you gay” and that “real men just let it fall out and go about their day.”
She told him that way of thinking was stupid and incredibly unhygienic — and made her “feel physically sick to be near him sometimes.”
Her boyfriend then reportedly accused her of being judgmental and said that she should “accept him for who he is.”
“I told him I draw the line at poop. I said if he didn’t start wiping and taking basic hygiene seriously, I’d have to reconsider the relationship.”
After she informed him of the dealbreaker, the boyfriend allegedly started sulking and said that she was being shallow, telling her that she was “prioritizing societal expectations over true love.”
“He even texted me a link to a ‘men’s rights’ subreddit post about ‘how wiping is emasculating.’”
“Now I’m wondering, AITA for threatening to break up with my boyfriend over something as ‘small’ as wiping?”
Unsurprisingly, Reddit users flocked to her defense.
“Not only does he sound homophobic and like those ‘macho’ men, but he’s a grown a– man with no hygiene and no proper excuse,” one person wrote. “Think about what would happen if you two were to have kids or something. You’d have a whole family not wiping their a–es, it’s disgusting.”
The original poster responded in agreement, saying that she “can’t build a future with someone who equates cleanliness with weakness.”
She posted an update on June 24 to share that she ultimately ended the relationship — “and it was somehow even messier than I expected, no pun intended.”
She explained to him that it was more than just wiping — it was about respect for her and the space they shared together, making her live in “constant secondhand filth.”
The Reddit user also told her ex that she was disappointed after repeatedly asking him to change something “extremely reasonable,” but he refused to do “the most basic thing to stay clean.”
“He stared at me in silence for a few seconds, then laughed. Like, this weird fake laugh. Then he got super defensive and said, ‘Wow, so I guess you never actually cared about me. This is what ends us? Over wiping?’”
“He folded his arms and said, ‘I’m not changing who I am just to make you comfortable.’ I said, ‘I’m not asking you to change your personality. I’m asking you to not smell like s–t,’” she wrote. “That’s when it got dramatic.”
The boyfriend allegedly stood up and threw his keys on the couch before calling her “judgmental and shallow,” then packing up a duffel bag with random things around the house.
“Before he left, he looked at me and said, ‘You’ll regret this. You’ll never find another guy like me.’”
“And I just said, ‘That’s kind of the point.’”
The woman said he has since texted her a few passive-aggressive messages, such as “hope your next guy wipes and lies to you about it” and “Real men don’t fold for toilet paper.”
“Since he left, I’ve deep-cleaned the apartment, burned a candle, and done five loads of laundry. I cannot tell you how amazing it feels to sit on a couch and not wonder if it’s been in contact with poop,” she wrote, thanking the Reddit community for giving her the push she needed to end the relationship.
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