Maybe it’s not too little, too late.
A husband took to social media to share his realization of things he did wrong in his marriage of 20 years, specifically regarding gender roles — and the internet is praising him for it.
Josh Fisher has posted several videos to TikTok under the series name, “Chronicles of a Clueless Husband,” where he self-reflects in his car on many of his wrongdoings and shortcomings as a husband.
In the first video of the series, Fisher specifically spoke on how he would often channel “main character energy” in his marriage.
“Early in our marriage, my partner and I say, we’d be going on a trip. My partner, at that point in time, would be doing the laundry, vacuuming the house, making sure the dishes were done,” the middle-aged man explained, which is a scenario so many couples can relate to.
“I would think, ‘Well, you don’t have to do that, that’s you wanting to do that.’”
He further explained how his wife would always have a long to-do list of things to get done before their trip — while Fisher nonchalantly packed his bag, grabbed the books he wanted to read while on vacation and would show up “ready to go on the trip.”
Talk about a division of labor.
“Looking back, how could I possibly think that was okay?” the now self-aware man in his 40s empathetically said in his video.
Of course, once kids came into the picture for Fisher and his wife, this selfish routine didn’t stop — it only got worse.
“I saw my own father do this quite a bit, where he would take care of his own needs, so I know I didn’t learn it from nowhere. But I also had to unlearn it,” the husband and father continued.
Unfortunately, this warped way of thinking regarding gender roles is common in many marriages — and the thousands of comments on this viral video proved that to be true.
“I assure you I have NEVER done laundry, vacuumed, or washed dishes because I WANTED to.”
“And then he will get mad when you are stressed, overstimulated, short fused.”
“What’s my insane takeaway here is that so many men say shit like women ‘want’ to do all that. Nobody ‘wants’ to do housework. It just needs to be done to live a healthy life.”
Plenty of commenters also praised Fisher for finally taking accountability.
“You have opened your eyes, wonderful.”
“At least you’re aware of it now. It’s exhausting being the one carrying the mental load.”
“Wonderful to see that men can evolve and see the light. There’s a glimmer of hope!”
“Thank you for your vulnerability. It takes a lot of guts to look at yourself and admit your wrongdoings. You are doing the work. Good on you.”
Another way to keep the peace in a marriage is by avoiding giving these two specific compliments to your loved one.
“How are you always so calm?” should never be said because it can alter a person’s personality.
“When emotional suppression is praised in adult relationships, it reinforces the message that your worth lies in being agreeable and low-maintenance,” psychologist Dr. Mark Travers explained in Psychology Today.
The second one is telling your partner: “You’re the only person I can talk to.”
According to Travers, this sounds nice, but in reality, it can signal emotional dependency rather than intimacy.
“This diversity in emotional support leads to greater well-being, because no single relationship is overloaded with the task of holding it all,” Travers explained to the outlet.
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