This crook cannon even pull off a worthwhile theft.

A low-level drug dealer stole an 800-pound cannon that was used in the Spanish American War from a Kansas park last week to settle a debt with his deranged boss, who was threatening to murder him and his family, authorities said. 

Gordon Pierce, 38, was arrested Thursday after the 1794 cannon went missing from its podium in a Wichita park and was later discovered chopped into pieces.

Pierce told investigators that he was a meth user of 20 years and owed his dealer $20,000 after the pound of meth he was supposed to sell was reportedly stolen. He said his dealer threatened to “shoot him and his family” if he didn’t come up with the cash, according to an affidavit acquired by KSNW.

To repay the debt, the distressed drug user planned to sell copper from statues made of the material he could steal, he reportedly told cops.

Pierce allegedly hatched the crackpot plan to steal the cannon after driving around in desperation looking for copper statues when he came across Riverside Park, where the massive artifact had been a fixture since 1900, according to KAKE. 

He told investigators that the reason he targeted the cannon was because it was in a dark place, according to the affidavit. 

Pierce then recruited a homeless man to help him with his plan by bribing him with drugs and a pipe. The two men got high on meth before trying to use their own muscles to lift the 800-pound cannon, the document alleges.

First, the pair tried to lift the cannon into the bed of Pierce’s Chevrolet Tahoe, but it was too heavy. Next, they hooked up to a chain attached to the truck’s hitch so the criminal mastermind could tow it off.

Except when he began dragging through the streets, the chain snapped in front of an automotive shop, according to the affidavit. 

He abandoned the cannon there and fled to a friend’s house and acquired a new chain. Pierce used the new chain to drag it to his friend’s house where he hid it in his garage, according to the affidavit. 

Inside the garage, Pierce allegedly chopped the cannon into five hunks and took some of the parts to the drug dealer in the hopes it would settle his debt and save his and his family’s lives. 

But the drug dealer was irate, according to the records, and called Pierce “stupid,” and told him he was going to “bring heat to his house,” before yelling at him to “get out.”

Since he didn’t have an ID that is required to sell scrap metal, Pierce had no real plan for pawning the 800-pound historical artifact, according to records. 

The next time he saw him, the furious drug dealer allegedly told Pierce he was going to shoot him in the head, according to the court records.

Terrified, Pierce went to his mother, confessed and fell asleep. When he woke up, cops were there to arrest him.

“This swift investigation shows our dedication to holding individuals responsible when they victimize our community,” police said in a statement.

Officials from Wichita’s Parks and Recreation estimated that the cannon is worth more than $100,000, and that Pierce caused $10,000 worth of damage to the granite pedestal during his harebrained caper.

Pierce is being held on a $200,000 bond.

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