DEAR ABBY: I have read letters in your column from women whose boyfriends or husbands flirt with other women in their presence complaining about feeling hurt and embarrassment. I was married for 25 years to a man who flirted with other women while we were dating and also after we were married. I told him many times that it hurt my feelings and made me feel inadequate. His response was I was “too sensitive” and that I should get over it.
Fast-forward 20 years: I got over it! Then I walked out and filed for divorce. My grown daughter told me he cried like a baby when he realized I was gone. I have now been married for many years to a man who loves me deeply and makes me feel I am the most important person in his life. My advice to those women is: Pack up, run as fast as you can and don’t look back. — FOUND MY SELF-ESTEEM
DEAR FOUND: Some people need constant reassurance that they are attractive, which is why they feel compelled to flirt. Their insecurity is a bottomless pit. This is destructive when it affects partners and spouses. I’m glad you finally realized that the problem wasn’t you and found the strength to leave. You deserve your happy ending, and I know you make your current husband as happy as he makes you.
DEAR ABBY: As a baby boomer and an amateur genealogist, I am continually frustrated by the lack of interest my grandchildren’s generation seems to have in learning about their family history — particularly mine. Rather than ask about what life was like when I grew up in the 1950s and ’60s, they seem fixated on their own lives and show little interest in anyone or anything else.
When I was their age, I was mesmerized by stories my grandparents shared with me about their lives at the turn of the 20th century. I’m deeply concerned that my grandkids will never be able to pass down these stories that I’d love to share with them — stories that hold great meaning about the lives of their predecessors. Do you have any suggestions about how I can encourage their interest in this important area? — HISTORIAN IN TEXAS
DEAR HISTORIAN: You probably can’t do that unless they wake up when they are older and start asking you to record oral family histories. However, because you would like these stories passed down, start writing them in diaries and journals to be read at a later date, perhaps after you are gone. If your family isn’t interested in them, local or state historical societies may be very interested in having them, along with any photographs you might be willing to share.
DEAR ABBY: I get really annoyed with “friends” who call me only on their speakerphones when driving, or while shopping or running errands in stores. I don’t do this to them. It makes me feel like an afterthought. What should I tell them? — UNCALLED FOR IN COLORADO
DEAR UNCALLED FOR: Try this: Tell them to call you when they get home and are not distracted.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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