DEAR ABBY: I have been incarcerated for 21 months. I stay in contact with my immediate family, except for my brother. I suspect that he slept with my girlfriend a couple of weeks before I came to prison, although I’m not 100% sure. He tells our family members that it isn’t true and that he wants me to reach out. But I don’t know if I can until I’m completely sure he didn’t do it. Do you have any advice? — LOCKED UP IN DELAWARE
DEAR LOCKED UP: You are locked away with little but your suspicions to keep you company. Under these circumstances, I can see how they might grow. Why do you think your brother did this? What “vibes” did you pick up on before you left? If you really think your girlfriend would do something like this, why do you still consider her your girlfriend? If she was unfaithful before you were incarcerated, what makes you think she is any different now?
You have no proof that either of them did anything. You should definitely talk to your brother and your girlfriend about your suspicions. If you do, perhaps they can put them to rest.
DEAR ABBY: I enjoy keeping up with family and friends on Facebook, but I have two uncles whose political posts have become increasingly extreme. Their messages are filled with anger and hate. I hoped things would calm down after the election, but their rhetoric has intensified.
I have unfriended others who shared similar views, but I am hesitant to do the same with family. I’ve tried “snoozing” them for 30 days at a time, but when they return, the posts are even more upsetting. I’m deeply offended by some of what they write. Is it OK to unfriend family? And, if they notice and confront me, how should I respond? — DIFFERENT IN TEXAS
DEAR DIFFERENT: You are not obligated to read anything that upsets you. This includes items posted by relatives. You can simply unfollow them without unfriending them. But Facebook does not notify anyone that they have been unfriended, so feel free to eliminate them from your feed if you’d like. If, by chance, they should confront you about it, be honest about your reason without being combative.
DEAR ABBY: I am getting married in six months and hosting a relatively small wedding (80 guests). My fiance and I recently received a save-the-date for a college friend’s wedding. It’s set to take place two weeks after ours. We will be on our honeymoon at that time and unable to attend.
We were not originally planning to invite this couple to our wedding but now feel that we must invite them in order to explain that we’ll be on our honeymoon during theirs. We did not send them a save-the-date card. What is the best way to approach this? We have limited space and budget, so adding two people is not easy. — OTHERWISE ENGAGED IN NEW YORK
DEAR OTHERWISE ENGAGED: You are not obligated to invite this couple to your wedding. Write them a sweet note explaining that you are sorry you won’t be able to attend because you will be on your honeymoon at that time. That’s all you have to do. However, it would be nice if you sent them a small gift to be delivered at the time of their wedding along with warm wishes that they enjoy a lifetime of happiness together.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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