In a new interview, This Is Us alum Chrissy Metz recalled feeling “singled out” by her stepfather while growing up because of her weight struggles.
“He would weigh me in the kitchen or, like, threaten to lock the cupboards,” Metz, 44, recalled while appearing on the “Jamie Kern Lima Show” podcast, released on Monday, October 21. The actress remembered “not feeling worthy” during her younger years because of his actions.
“Why does my weight equate my worthiness or why does it bother him so much?” she recalled wondering. At 12 years old, it was hard for Metz to “reconcile that” in her mind. “Kids their job is to be loved and some parents don’t have that capacity, unfortunately.”
Metz said it was “devastating” to deal with as a child.
“Definitely mental, physical, emotional abuse, for sure,” she continued. “While you’re going through puberty and you look like none of your other friends, and you can’t fit into any of the cute Wet Seal clothes that they can fit into.”
Metz admitted that the physical abuse she endured was “not great” but the emotional abuse she dealt with packed a larger punch.
“They’re like little nicks, little cuts and eventually you bleed out. It is painful,” she continued. “I think I’m trying to heal those wounds slowly but surely and it’s not easy because it definitely comes up. The root of it is like, ‘I’m unworthy.’”
Metz explained that her dad “basically” left her mom with nothing. “She was struggling for many many years,” the actress said. “I know that she loved my stepfather but I know that she also really needed us to have a consistent like roof over our heads.”
However, the experiences she had with her stepfather during her childhood are still impacting her.
“Now, as an adult, I’m like, ‘OK, maybe, he actually loved me [and] didn’t know how to express it’ and did it in such a difficult way that he thought he was being helpful. He doesn’t want me to be unhealthy or he doesn’t want me to be a certain way,” she explained. “Also, hurt people hurt people and he was I think very hurt by his own father. These are only things I can say now because I’ve gone to therapy and like I’ve processed feelings.”
The biggest way this has affected Metz is by how she walks “into every room” — even now.
“It’s my desire to be a people pleaser and a peacemaker,” she shared. “It is still very painful if I really get to the root of it. There’s still a lot of pain about all of that, for sure.”
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