There’s nothing worse than being in a conversation with someone where as soon as you finish your thought, they bring the conversation back to them — not even acknowledging what you just said. Sound familiar?
Well, there’s a name for that annoying behavior — it’s called boomerasking.
Boomeraskers move in three parts: first, they ask you a question, you answer, and then they never add on to what you said or bother to ask follow-up questions — they just immediately boomerang the conversation back to them.
According to research from the Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, people use this conversation tactic because they think they’re being polite and genuine by asking someone a question.
What they don’t realize is how self-centered they come off.
The research also suggests that there are three versions of boomerasking: one is ask-bragging, which is when a person asks a question but then pivots to bragging about themselves.
Another is ask-complaining — which is asking a question and then following up on the person’s answer with an annoying complaint.
And the third version is ask-sharing — which is giving an opinion soon after asking the other person for theirs. The journal explains that this is probably the most neutral one out of all three.
It goes without saying that if you’re meeting someone for the first time and they engage in boomerasking — that person probably won’t make a great first impression on you.
However, before you judge someone for it, think back to past conversations you’ve had with people — because you’ve most likely boomerasked too.
In one of the journal studies, when participants were asked if they had ever boomerasked or experienced boomerasking in a conversation, most answered that they had done both.
The study also found that most recipients of boomerasking were left irritated and didn’t think the interaction was pleasant — whereas the person doing the boomerasking thought the opposite.
No one is ever fond of a bragger or complainer but if you’re going to do either, research advises people to at least be direct with it.
The participants in the study said that they would prefer people to just act how they want to without trying to mask their behavior with disingenuous questions.
Read the full article here
